To the boy in all the angry songs.

4:03 a.m.

Well, break my heart, why don't you?
It's not like you'll ever fill the crack
You stayed oblivious while I was sinking
Sinking slowly; I thought I was in love

It was a masquerade ball and you put on your costume
I got all dolled-up, thinking I was the one you were going to choose
Turns out I'm the fool,
The laughing stock; again.

Naivety was bliss for me and
I was easy keeping in your grasp...
I waited in the wings,
You put on a show; your clock was ticking fast.
Mine was a few seconds behind.

And I struggled with my sanity
While you were only breaking me,
Though all the while,
I colored you a savior.
But now I'm grown and I see through
And I found the very root of you
And maybe I will never know if you cared.

But I've been standing still on quicksand hills
Waiting for a man to come along
And save me,
But he wasn't a man; he was nothing more than a boy.
And he was too far; he was long gone.

And I grow; every day, I grow
Though sometimes moments tick by slowly
I face the day and rise
And put you two steps behind
Just to fall back into your tracks again.

So many times, we've been here before
I keep closing and reopening this door.
And I can pretend that you don't faze me
But you play me like a string
On a guitar
And I've held on to every scar.

This fall was the hardest.
There was no band-aid to patch over the wound
There was no cushion-soft landing;
There was only ground to break my fall,
And break I did.

Someday, he'll come.
And he'll mean more to me than you could ever mean.
And he'll stand and say he loves me with
Such conviction that I cannot doubt him.
And he will be what I've been looking for...
He'll be everything you're not.

So I will wait for him.

And I will wait for my clock to catch yours and go ticking swiftly past.